If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
That reminds me...we need to get swords
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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