The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
