It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
