the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
