what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
