And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Randomize
