I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
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