That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Randomize
