i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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