i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
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