That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Randomize
