We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
