Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize
