Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize
