He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
