Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Randomize
