he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Randomize
