My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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