My Higher Power is John Stamos
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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