why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
