THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
no, he came in my armpit
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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