My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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