We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize
