i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
