I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
