Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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