I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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