please come you make the beer taste better
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
