I'm sorry my penis didn't work
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
and i looked up. we had an audience...
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
