Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
