I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
