Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
