Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
