I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Randomize
