i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
