Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Randomize
