So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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