I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
