I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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