i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
