I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
40s are totally the cure
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
