and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
