I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Randomize
