we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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