Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
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