Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
