when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Randomize
