dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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