I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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