I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
