Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
